Monday, October 31, 2011

Barbara Topham's Eulogy

I love to write. But I can't just schedule time to sit and write something. It's always been that the Holy Spirit begins to put words in my mind and heart and then I have to write whatever it is right then. That's what happened with my mom's eulogy. It was actually about a week before she passed away that He gave it to me...about 1am. I've learned not to ignore that prompting because He generally won't give me the words again. So when I felt the prompting I got up and by 3am I had it written. I would love to someday write out her entire testimony just because it's so amazing...but these are the words given to me. It is written as if I was speaking. I hope you enjoy them.


Barbara Ruth Topham was born in Waltham, MA on July 25, 1949. She was born to Bill and Marie Williams. For many years it was just she and her older brother “Butch”. 8 years after she was born her sister Diana was born and 4 years after that came another sister, Margaret. They lived in Austria when she was a small child, but when she was 5 years old her father was stationed in New Jersey so they moved again!  She spent most of her life in Mount Holly, which is a beautiful and quaint town in southern New Jersey. After graduation and a failed marriage she met Gary Topham. He had been serving in the US Navy and had been stationed in Jacksonville, FL. Because of the milder weather they then moved to Jacksonville together in 1977. After getting settled they got married on February 11, 1978. A few months later Barbara, by the encouragement of a special friend, went to church for the first time. Shortly thereafter on October 26, 1978 she felt the prompting of God and accepted his Son Jesus Christ into her heart to be her Savior. Her life drastically changed as she fell in love with her Savior more and more while still living with a husband who didn’t share her faith.
 A few weeks after her salvation experience Barbara found out she was expecting their first child. By God’s grace, she hadn’t gotten pregnant before she had given her heart to Jesus.  Exactly 30 years after her own birth, on July 25, 1979 Barbara delivered their first and only child: me J. Our shared birthday has always been so much fun. Although they never had any more children our home was filled with a lot of love, laughter and my friends. My parents were very creative, fun loving and selfless. They have provided me with countless cherished memories and traditions that I will remember forever. Already some are being passed down to my own family. Although my dad had not yet accepted Christ as his Savior, God used my mom during those years to be a wonderful witness of His grace, mercy, love, protection and kindness. For 8 years she prayed for my dad…and so did numerous other friends. Finally, on November 18, 1986 while kneeling in the front yard of their home my dad asked Jesus to come into his heart as well. It was a night and an experience that we will never forget. This changed the family dynamic as my parents were now on the same page in regards to how they would raise me.
My mom and I had already been attending First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, FL since her conversion and after my dad was saved he joined right in and began to get involved also. FBC became like a 2nd home to us where we were ministered to by amazing pastors, teachers and music.
Anyone who knew my mom knew the pride she took in any job she did. Whether it was hanging wallpaper, painting or making crafts and games for her beloved Bible Study Fellowship children, she honored God by always doing the very best job she could. While that could sometimes be frustrating  AND amusing for us J, it was just another area of how she genuinely displayed God’s character in her life.
My mom may not have ever done any great things as far as “the world” is concerned, but everyone who knew her knows the great things she has done to help further the Kingdom of God.  And quite frankly, that is the only “world” that really matters. She loved Jesus more than anything. She never apologized for the fact that she wanted to obey her Savior and His Word. She was one of the most genuine people ever to walk the earth. That is probably the thing I loved most about her. Her transparency about herself drew others to her. She was a glorious example of what can happen when a person lets the Holy Spirit fill them continually with Himself.  She began the Christian Heritage in our family and the fruit that she has produced will last for eternity. 
When we told her we were pregnant she began to earnestly pray for that little life that was forming. She prayed so specifically and so passionately that God would “pour out a double portion of His Spirit” onto this child and that she would love Christ from a very early age. Although only 3 years old it seems that her prayer has been answered.  She treated Ansley and Zacharaiah just the same way she had treated me. She loved them selflessly. She never hesitated to play whatever game they wanted to play. I often wondered if I would ever be as selfless. She encouraged them to love God, but she also never let them get away with wrongdoing. She loved them as we’ve all been commanded to love: deeply.
After her original diagnosis in March 2009 she suffered many setbacks and frustrations in regards to her  treatment. Through it all she kept a wonderful and God honoring attitude. She witnessed to almost every doctor, nurse and receptionist she came in contact with. We celebrated in November 2009 and thought that we had truly “weathered the storm”. However, that was not to be. In December 2010 it was discovered that the cancer had metastasized. At this point everyone knew that beyond a miracle from God she would not survive this. For many months she seemed to do remarkably well, despite chemo and radiation treatments. It wasn’t until the last few months of her life that she really even looked sick. But once again she simply encouraged and inspired those around her to turn to their Father through this “valley of the shadow of death”. The ways that God took care of all of us are simply indescribable.  As people came to minister to her they always left saying that she had ended up ministering to them also. In her final days one of the only things she could clearly communicate was how good God was.
My mom’s faith became sight at sunrise on October 13, 2011. She was surrounded by family and her closest friend and we had been singing and reading scripture to her for hours. Of course we were sad, but there was also a spirit of joy and peace surrounding everyone. It was a beautiful and holy experience.
She is now singing and “dancing her shoes off” in Heaven with the love of her life: her Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ!! She has also been reunited with her mother and father who accepted Christ much later in their lives.  She even had the pleasure of leading her own mother to the Lord a few days before her death in 1991.
Barbara is preceded in death by her father, mother and brother. She is survived by her loyal husband Gary; myself and my husband Danny; and her precious granchildren: Ansley and Zachariah, who she has influenced in ways they will never know. She is also survived by her two sisters:  Diana of Panama City, Margaret and husband Jon of Panama City and numerous cousins, nieces and nephews. Her loss will also be felt by friends who in many ways were just as close to her as her actual family.
When I was born God gave her the scripture Matthew 9:22 in order to give her comfort and peace. However, now it applies to her in an even more glorious and eternal way:
But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said,
Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.”

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