I mentioned in my last post that "Come Thou Fount" had been on my mind and heart for the past couple of days. Well, the first worship song we sang during Secret Church Friday night was Come Thou Fount!! I really couldn't believe it because no one ever sings this song anymore :):) It brought tears to my eyes that God would do that for me. Then there were tears because all I wanted to do was call my mom and tell her what He had done for me. I knew these kinds of moments were going to be the hardest. I kinda quietly asked God to tell her He had done that so that she would know.

I'm starting to be really sad a lot of the time. The kids are a good distraction of course, but it's starting to just be right there at the surface all the time. Last night I was posting something on FB and I happened to see of the the pictures from her last couple days. I haven't looked at them since, but I decided to and I did some crying. It's weird because it hasn't even been a month, but it's already so hard to remember at all. Actually I think I'm just trying so hard not to think about it that I can't bring myself to remember. Because as I sit here and try to remember - it's pretty easy to. It's all still hard to believe. When does reality finally set in for good?