I don't even know where to begin. Mostly because I am in a phase right now where I could not even begin to tell you what is going on in my brain. I've wanted to come and write a few times, but it was just impossible to put into words what I was thinking. Even now - I'm just kind of blank.

I've had a couple of emotional breakdowns in some odd places the last couple of weeks :(

I had a doctor's appt on the 13th (which was the 2 month anniversary). After the nurse who shouldn't be allowed to communicate with people made me feel "something" (again, not sure of the right word) and then I had to answer questions about BC history I just kind of melted down - in front of my doctor. I actually think it was a good thing because she was able to see "where I am". We are gonna try some medicine to help me through the next few months. So far it has really upset my stomach, I'm hoping that won't last long. I don't think it could have made a difference this fast, but Danny thinks I seem "better" for lack of a better word.

My 2nd breakdown was when I picked up the RX this week. The pharmacist asked if I had taken this before and I told her no. She immediately got this look of pity and said, "you'll feel better in a couple days" - and I immediately burst into tears. It's actually kind of funny if you think about it I guess. I guess we'll just see how it goes.

I've really not been looking forward to this weekend. Maybe starting the medicine when I did will be helpful especially now.

I got to thinking this morning that my mom is getting to celebrate the ultimate Christmas and that made me happy for a little bit :) I'm trying to hard to concentrate on the good things in my life - it's just really hard sometimes.