A year ago...

...it was a year ago that we found out my mom's cancer had returned.

The night before we had been encouraging her to go the doctor because she had been coughing for a couple months and we thought she had pneumonia. She called me that Monday morning and told me she was having an Xray. I waited all afternoon to hear back from her and she never called.

I was driving to an ornament party and just knew something wasn't right because she hadn't called. So I called her and she still wouldn't talk about the xray. Finally I had to ask her and that's when she told me that the cancer had come back in her lungs. It was like a stab in the heart. I even remember where I was - I was on Blanding between Wells Rd. and 295. It's like a picture got snapped at that moment.

It was a few days later they told us there was nothing they could do and that she may have a month. I rememer just not being able to grasp that concept. Thankfully though they did try some radiation and it helped a lot for a while. So instead of a month, we got 10 months :):)

I do still struggle with "why" but like we learned last weekend in Pensacola, the best answer is "Perhaps...". There could be any number of reasons and I don't need to know why. Yes, I do still want to know, but I don't need to know. I'm trying really hard to just trust God in all of it. I seemed to not have much of a problem before she died, but now it's a whole lot harder.

We were watching a Veggie Tales the other day and the closing scripture was Hebrews 10:36 - "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

Yeah, I don't think I heard one word from that whole episode until the very end. It was so for me.